


Useless

by Mufffy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angels (Supernatural) as Humans, Crying, Depression, Fucking, Gay, Ice Cream, M/M, Oh, Stress Relief, Why Did I Write This?, cuz i fucking said, fuck it this is shit anyways, gabriel with glasses, honestly, honestly im still upset, i cried a lot while writing this, im cold, lets just say im struggling rn in school :), oh boi, talks of depression, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 15:18:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18013361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mufffy/pseuds/Mufffy
Summary: Sam comes home to find his boyfriend in an emotional overload of school work and stress





	Useless

**Author's Note:**

> so like yay my english speach is freaking me out and ive had a panic attack while writing this and while working on the speech itself ?? honestly if my teacher finds this i wont even fucking care, see you tomorrow XD

Sam hadn’t expected to find Gabriel awake when he got home at seven thirty from his college classes. Sam usually got out at seven, sometimes nine if it was a long lecture, but Gabe was already asleep by the time he got back because he had early morning classes. What was even more alarming was finding Gabriel on the couch with his laptop on his knees crying. He stared wide eyed at the screen, the reflection of his glasses gleaming at the screen as he softly sobbed.

“Why are you crying?” Sam asked softly as he dropped his back on the ground next to the couch. Gabriel glanced up at him with tears in his eyes as he shrugged with a smile and continued to cry. Sam only frowned and turned on the light, walking over to sit next to him, putting an arm around him as Gabriel gave up and covered his face as he cried.

Sam glanced at the computer screen and saw a bunch of notes and websites about the human brain before seeing the final study guide on the table. Sam instantly knew he’d over worked himself and gently rubbed his back “Do you wanna take a break from working?” Sam asked, raising one hand to run his fingers through Gabe’s curls on the back of his neck.

He’d only seen Gabe like this when they were in high school and they had to do speeches in English. He’d done all the research and could never present it. Sam didn’t know why because Gabe didn’t have anxiety. He wasn’t fully depressed to the point he had episodes like this dayly, but Sam did know it was the same as like before.

“Can’t, work” He mumbled out in a confusion of noises before looking at his computer in confusion “Spine, stem- brain.. Cervical- i dont know!” Gabriel blurted, crying again as he stared at his computer “I dont know. I just dont know- i dont care.. I dont know” He whispered softly, taking a breath before shakily exhaling and smiling “I dont know” He whispered again, looking at Sam with a smile.

“I know” Sam smiled a little at him as he gently closed Gabe’s computer “Come on” Sam mumbled, moving his laptop to lay on the table with his notes “You can work on it later. Trust me” Sam smiled as he got him to his feet and wiped his eyes, brushing his tear soaked hair from his face before kissing his forehead “Just breathe, let it out” He whispered softly, hugging him close to his chest as Gabriel took a breath before sobbing into his chest, hugging him tightly as he cried “It’s okay” Sam smiled softly.

Gabriel took a big breath and let it out as he pulled away and started shivering “I think im good now” He mumbled softly, wiping his nose on his long sleeve.

“No, you’re not” Sam frowned at him “You can’t lie to me, I’ve been dating you for four years” He smiled and wiped more of his tears away before kissing his cheek “Now come on, lets go to the bedroom so you can calm down and relax a little” Sam whispered, petting his hair. He cut him off as Gabe opened his mouth “And no you can’t bring the laptop” Sam smiled as Gabriel gave in and took his hand.

“Come here, go get changed into something warm and wait in bed. I’ll bring you some ice cream if you stop crying” Sam mumbled, rubbing his head again as he saw Gabe’s anxious face “You don’t actually have to stop crying” He whispered, kissing him again as he got the container of ice cream from their freezer and a spoon, walking in to see Gabe pulling one of Sam’s hoodies over his waist and over his shorts. Gabriel stood there for a long second, staring at the ground before sighing with a huff.

“Ice cream?” Sam asked, catching Gabe’s attention “Come on, I know superman is your favorite because it’s colorful” Sam smirked a little as Gabe finally broke a smile “There’s that smile I know and love” Sam grinned as Gabe blushed and took of his glasses to lay on his desk.

“I feel sick” Gabe admitted to him “Like my brain is in jello” He mumbled “But i have a headache” He continued as he contiuned to shiver. Sam frowned a little and set the ice cream down to turn the heat in the room up “And i’m hot but shivering and I feel terrible” Gabe whined again, frowning as tears formed in his eyes.

“Sh, sh, it’s okay” Sam smiled at him as he rushed forward to wipe under his eyes again “It’s okay to be upset and it’s okay to cry.. It’s okay for them to be random too!” Sam laughed slightly, getting a small laugh out of Gabriel.

“I just feel.. Useless. And hurt” He mumbled, pulling the sleeves on his hoodie down as he looked up at Sam for something. For anything. Anything that came from Sam would be make him so much more at ease in the moment.

“It’s okay to feel that way, but I want you to know you’re not” Sam promised him as he kissed his head again “I love you and think you need to know how much I love you because if you weren’t here by my side I don’t think i’d be where I am today. Studying to be a lawyer? None of that would’ve happened without you” Sam smiled at him.

“You’re fucking gay” Gabe mumbled as he sniffled and rubbed his eyes again.

“If me being gay is what makes you stop crying then I’m the biggest fucking gay in the world” Sam smiled as Gabe laughed. He ran a hand over Gabe’s head again before lowering his hand down his arm and squeezed his side “Now either get some pants on or get in bed, you’re freezing” Sam laughed.

“So you’re gonna give me ice cream?” Gabe mumbled as he laid in bed, pulling the blankets up over him.

“Shut up i’m being nice” Sam smiled, taking the ice cream and took his shoes off to lay in bed with him, shuffling under the blankets before handing him the ice cream and leaning back to throw an arm around his shoulders, squeezing slightly as Gabe opened the container to start eating. Sam turned on the TV and went down the channels, waiting for Gabe to grunt at one to which he chose and they watched.

Sam listened to Gabe sniffle and sob here and there through-out the show before he finally stopped and focused on eating more. Sam’s smile wavered as he thought of all the things Gabe has been piling up. If he never has mental breakdowns how bad is his thought process? Surely all those negative thoughts and pent up emotions wear down someone’s emotional stability.

“How’re you feeling?” Sam asked softly later into the show, glancing down at the empty container of ice cream before glancing at Gabe’s head.

“Better.. Happier kind of” He mumbled, moving the container to the nightstand and shifted to lay on Sam’s chest.

“That’s all the plus I need” Sam smiled as he played with Gabe’s hair.

“I just randomly felt bad. I was reading things and not taking them in and.. Hated it” He mumbled “I was trying so hard to do it and I just- It didn’t register and I fucking hated it. I tried and just.. Didn’t” He mumbled in confusion.

Sam smiled softly as he ran his fingers through Gabe’s hair “You need to take breaks more often while studying. It’s not good when you sit and stare at the screen and force yourself to work. It’s pushing your brain too much and you should know that since you’re studying the brain right now” Sam teased, scratching his scalp.

“Don’t bring it up, i hate studying the brain” He whispered softly, curling up to lay against Sam’s lap. Sam smiled and stroked his hair again “All I know is my brain is fucking jello and useless” He whispered.

“Stop saying you’re useless” Sam frowned before thinking “Remmeber that time you found the remote when we lost it for three days? Not useless. Remember the time you helped me with math because geomotry was really hard for me back then? I passed so many tests thanks to studying with you. Ya know that time I was learning to drive and Dean helped as much as he could but couldn’t help since it wasn’t his impala? You helped me pass my test- And remember-”

“Alright I get it” Gabe snorted from under the covers, wiping his eyes again “Not useless, help Sammy survive, I got it” He mumbled with a smile.

Sam smiled and played with his hair, pulling it into braids “I’m just saying you’re very helpful, nice and sweet and mean a lot more to me than you think. So please stop talking down about yourself? I hate it when you’re upset” He whispered, tucking hair behind Gabe’s ear.

Sam blinked with no response and looked down at Gabe who’d fallen asleep in his lap “See? You can also be used as a lap warmer” He whispered softly “Not useless at all”


End file.
